The three:
–Choosing a college based on guesswork, not vocational data
Before putting down $80,000 in college tuition, use a career counselor to ensure that choice of college and classes are crafted to lead to a meaningful, economically satisfactory, and long-term life occupation. Why not make sure your $80,000 results in a reliable Return on Investment (ROI)?
After counseling over a 1,000 people, I have found that by the end of high school (or even sooner), the Career Sweet Spot (where your child’s passions, natural aptitudes, and current skills overlap) are discoverable and can lead to a structured college/technical school plan of action (e.g., what to major in, what classes to take first, etc.) so they graduate with a job. But more importantly a lifelong career!!! See my career/vocational counseling process movie here.
–Minor social awkwardness leading to low self-esteem leading to bad things
Even within a few meetings, a counselor can quickly help your child “sand down” particular personality thorns and/or correct issues drastically affecting their social status. As I have blogged about in my butterfly wing leading to a hurricane (where I discuss the “13 Reasons Why” Netflix show, social status can quickly go south given our age of social media. And no matter how accurately you pinpoint the areas of your child’s social awkwardness, children respond much better to objective professional advice rather than parental advice often.
Too many parents fear the stigma of taking their kid to a therapist (they are not crazy!!) for something they see as solvable without a counselor. In stark contrast, the most insightful parents recognize the highest achievers in society now regularly consult behavioral science professionals. I currently counsel an Olympic athlete as part of my clientele.
Even just a few meetings with a counselor can save your child months or years of social embarrassment or ineffectiveness. See my blog on personality derailers that derail even good people.
–My kid cannot focus, because they are just lazy.
One of the most common problems parents have is they take far too long to bring their kids to my counseling office when their child is not focusing well. That lapse in time between the identification of the problem and when parents finally, years later, seek a professional, costs that child DEARLY.
There can be 50 different reasons for focusing problems, and the focusing problem is most often multi factorial, necessitating a cognitive map be drawn of the contributing factors. Children all-too-easily get labeled as lazy or daydreamers! Rarely, after seeing over 1,000 clients, have I found a focusing problem is merely due to laziness alone. But even if it is, counselors help parents understand the reasons behind the laziness; often it means the person feels depressingly uninspired by their current life tasks.
Humans by nature want to do meaningful work. The vocational counselor can dial the child into passions that re-light their brain and stoke the fire that can drive your child to sustainably high motivation to reach their True Potential.
Unfortunately, parents often run to medication rather than seeking out a counselor who can give them (and their child) a clear “cognitive map” of the reality of the situation, while appreciating its complexity. When children can x-ray their own functional (or dysfunctional) patterns, they often WAKE UP and smell the coffee. I love meeting in my conference room with children and helping them see their patterns as we draw a mind map on my dry erase board.
They want to be in control of their life, and they realize they NEED to do particular things to BE in control.
Read my blog about how often focusing problems are misdiagnosed here.
Read a story about a psychiatrists own daughter who used a non-medication based, scientifically rigorously validated technique for correcting focusing problems here.